Dummies’ Guide to Scotto AGLs & Seniors Attached

Hi Scottot Freshies! This is one half (or rather, one-quarter) of your OGL speaking! Curious about the bunch of senior citizens that will accompany your FOC? In order to acquaint you guys with the AGLs and SAs in Scotto, (more importantly, not be deceived by their *innocent* looks, and not be traumatised by some of their weird antics) I will have to sacrifice myself and write an honest appraisal of them. I will probably get bashed up by some of them after this. :X

1. Supei

Our Scotto Mascot!! Super Supei always saves the day with her lame jokes (which nobody understands - which makes them non-jokes - just pretend to laugh!) which makes her opponents cower in genuine fear. Her unfortunate height (or dis-height, or in-height, or lack-of-height) is due to the strong gravity on the planet of Krypton.

The Supergirl spends her time gambling, sleeping, sprucing up her wardrobe of kiddy disguises and wondering if taller people breathe better air.

Note: Available for rent as an arm-rest. 2 pax capacity only. Otherwise arm rest will turn into leg rest.

2. Jiayi

The Scotto Dancing Queen! I haven’t got a chance to watch her perform but I’m sure her performances are HOT and SPICY! WOots~

Another title that she holds is Blur Queen #2. (To find out who is Blur Queen #1, please scroll down a little ahahaha) Expect to hear a “Huh…..........” when you ask her a question because she needs time to think. You can come back 30 minutes later and she might be at the same spot and maintaining the same sound. Sorry freshies, she hasn't upgraded her internal processor since 1987.

But do feel free to talk to her when you have anything bothering you because she’s always there to lend a listening ear (just remember to return it). As caring as a Care Bear (minus the power rays from the tummy). Aww… But don’t anyhow hug her ok? Must pay money one.

3. Candy

Oh… sugar, maple syrup, sugarcane drink, diabetes. Hahaha. She’s one of the nicest person I've ever met. Oops she just told me not to use the word nice and use terms like pretty and hot instead. But it's ok, I don't lie. :X

Always over-flowing with enthusiasm and suffering from hyperactivity, the only way to stop her is to hold her down and take out the batteries on the back. Like Energizer Rabbit liddat.

Load her up with a pack of fresh batteries everyday, and she will be the one who laughs the loudest. We've already decided to use her laugh as a homing beacon for lost freshies. (Tried and tested for a 400m radius)

Warning to all freshies: Please do not ask her for directions! You will only end up getting more lost. Actually, please don't ask any of the height-disadvantaged seniors for directions. They can't really see that far, and it will be taken as an insult!

4. Kaijie

A bad dream carried over from last year's FOC that everyone would love to forget. Guys were traumatised and girls were put to shame.

After the damning performance, Kaijie was committed to a psychiatric treatment facility and released only after he promised no more cross-dressing nonsense, to the relief of close friends and family.

5. KiaHui

The avid reporter who always seem busy and has a nose for scandalous details. Already working at chinese tabloids and putting her talents to good use.

For juniors who are looking to join our school publication The Nanyang Chronicle, please be nice to her so that she will recruit you! (F.Y.I: Caleb and Jin are in Nanyang Chronicle too!) You guys can bribe her through me! We accept anything from sweets to automobiles. Of course, automobiles carry more currency. That and leg extensions.

6. Jin

The year 3 senior who seem to be in school 24/7.

He's only joining us for 2/3 days so I don’t have to write too much about him. Transient mah!

HOWEVER, life in CS would be tough without the Encyclopaedia of Information. Between ~~facebook stalking, blog stalking and good-old fashioned stalking~~, Jin has built up a far-reaching CS network. 6 Degrees of Separation be damned! Jin can do it in 2!

Edit by Jin: hullo I am not a full time stalker PLEASE! >< And I don't stay in school 24/7 cuz I'm not the ultimate bencher (this is something insider: freshies just ask us during FOC!), just that I'm in almost every school related activity. Personal insert here: Feed me with Chinese indie or local music anytime. :D or transport news. Or maybe even any secrets that you trust me with. I listen better than I speak so maybe that's why juniors all say I'm stalker sigh.

Need information on CS modules? Talk to Jin.
Need information on CS events? Talk to Jin.
Need information on CS guys/girls? Hmmmmm.... Ask the others. :)

So feel free to flatter him and prey on his good-natured helpfulness (in other words, utilise him)!

This is all I can think of for now. Some of the description may sound weird or even disturbing to you. But don’t worry! We are all normal people inside. Deranged-coated people with normal filling. In any case, you'll be like us in no time! We're so excited to see you guys on MONDAY! ~~Fresh meat!~~ Freshies!

-Scotto OGL #2: XinYi-

Labels: Scotto

2 comments:

I would like to say this post is originally written by xinyi, posted by me, and edited by kaijie.

to scotto seniors, now you know whose head to go after in a few days time.

By silly, at July 3, 2009 at 9:08 PM

Made additional edits to protect my reputation. Hey! I'm not a full time stalker k... I still have a life. Cuz Scotto is the OG which knows how to enjoy life. :)

And yes supei. We know what to do. *evil wink*

By Anonymous, at July 3, 2009 at 9:13 PM